delightmare

a delightmare is just what it sounds like. Something momentous or not-momentous happens or doesn't happen, and it's wonderful or terrible. Or both. A delightmare.

delightmarish at gmail dot com
Wed Jul 16

paulftompkins:

This was quite a journey! I spent the better part of a day going back and forth with a guy that I was not entirely sure was for real at first, then I absolutely got fooled, and then I realized I got fooled. It was fun. The guy said some LEGITIMATELY funny stuff when he was “in character.” And it all ended in a way that I felt good about.

It’s pretty much all laid out in the screencaps, But let me elaborate here:

HEY YOUNG MEN! I know it seems like women complain a lot about how they are represented in media, including fiction, and how it seems like they want entertainment tailored specifically to them, and how they seem to want ALL of pop culture to be politically correct or feminist-ized or whatever it is you think they want, but really, what’s happening is that women are tired of seeing garbage women characters in most of our entertainment. And they’re wondering, Would it really be so much trouble to make more realized female characters? You could still have all your CGI and action and science fiction and drama and swords and stuff, but the female characters could be a little more fleshed out and interesting. And the entertainment would still be good and would, in fact, be better.

Guys, instead of  thinking, “Hey, not everything has to be politicized,” try thinking, “I wonder what it would be like for me if the situation were reversed, and how I’d feel if in the vast majority of the entertainment I consumed, the male characters were few and far between and then mostly used as talking props & plot devices. I wonder if I’d get kinda tired of that and occasionally I’d say something, even a little joke, just to ease the annoyance a little.”

Fellows. Listen to the women in your lives. Ask them questions. It will change your perspective for the better. Years ago, I got into a brief argument with two female friends of mine about a movie— it does not even matter which movie— that they viewed as sexist and I did not. I couldn;t even fathom how they could see it that way. I tried to argue that it was not sexist. In recounting our discussion to another party, it was pointed out to me that they might have a different viewpoint based on their life experiences, and that it was not for me to tell them that their interpretation was incorrect. And that I was probably getting defensive about it because if the movie was sexist, it followed that my liking it would make me appear sexist. And that’s when I realized that none of this was about me, and maybe I should shut up and listen and try to understand. And also to be more aware of things like this and develop not just my sympathy, but my empathy.

I will only ever be able to empathize so much with women, because my experience as a white male in America is vastly different from that of anyone who is not that. But I can relate to:

  • not being taken seriously
  • not being listened to
  • being dismissed
  • being condescended to
  • having something explained to me that I already understand

And I having had those experiences, I am now more inclined to TRY to understand where someone is coming from if they are telling me they are having a similar experience with our culture.

So guys: just try. You don’t even really have to dig that deep. Think about your own experiences as a person, then apply that to someone else. It gets easier the more you do it, and it makes your life better.

Anyway, I hear Dawn of The Planet of The Apes is pretty good! 

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Tue Jul 8
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Thu Jun 26

tumblsoup:

zizicat:

I just wanted a gifset of all three… (x,x,x)

I will always reblog this, it kills me.

(via lightning-heart)

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Thu Jun 12
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Mon Feb 17
bookoisseur:

bebinn:

stfufauxminists:

Yeah fuck that person who thinks this isn’t intimidating for patients.
I do clinic escorting at a local clinic every weekend. We have a fence and the antis aren’t allowed on our property, luckily, but let me just tell you about my experience just today.
I had a woman ask me for my name multiple times. She knew I worked for the clinic because I wear an apron that says “clinic escort” on it. She kept telling me I didn’t “have” to work for an abortion clinic. This is part of a concerted effort on the part of anti-choicers to harass clinic workers into quitting their jobs. It’s actually called "And then there were none" and it’s pretty fucking disgusting.
When I walked up to a patient as she was getting out of her car (this is policy, we have to ask if the person has an appointment because the antis try to park on our property all the time), she got really scared at first because she thought I was one of the antis. She told me how relieved she was once she read my apron. This woman had an existing child that she mentioned to me as the antis were screaming over the fence about her “killing her baby”.
Another woman told me how she was worried I might be “with them” when I walked up, just because the knowledge of how anti-choicers harass people going into the clinic is so commonplace. She was also relieved to have me there. One of the anti-choicers yelled at her about killing her baby from over the fence. She burst into tears.
These people also yell at and harass the men that come into the clinics with either their partners or their family members. One woman kept yelling out to the men coming in to “protect [his] legacy”. 
This was all in one day. One day. I’ve had other experiences on other days when I’ve escorted that are just as bad or worse.
It’s not like these people stand there silently. They are actively yelling at folks and when they can, pursuing them. If an anti-choicer at my place of work can’t get to someone through the part of the fence that overlooks the parking lot, they will push their pamphlets through the parts of the fence that face the doors of the clinic. They are aggressive and totally insensitive to the feelings of any of the patients coming into the clinic.
I haven’t worked at this clinic long, but I have seen the emotional effects that these people have on patients coming into the clinic. So like yeah, in one picture it doesn’t appear that they’re harassing anyone, yelling, or threatening people. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. And either way, who wants people staring at them when they’re going in for a medical procedure? Or when you come out of one, and you’re still so groggy from anesthesia that you need one of the clinic nurses (or even myself or someone else in my kind of position!) to hold you up and put you in the car?
Anyone who thinks the people standing outside of clinics are not doing it with the intent to harass and bully is wrong, and patients deserve to be protected from this kind of bullshit. My clinic has a big fence and the patients that we serve still feel harassed and bullied. I can’t imagine what it must be like for people going into a clinic without that, like what is pictured.


Thank you for the work you do. Clinic escorts are so brave, and so needed.

The clinic escort who took me in for my annual exam looked like a Hell’s Angel and was easily 6’5.
The anti who harassed me looked like Aunt May.
#protectthezone

bookoisseur:

bebinn:

stfufauxminists:

Yeah fuck that person who thinks this isn’t intimidating for patients.

I do clinic escorting at a local clinic every weekend. We have a fence and the antis aren’t allowed on our property, luckily, but let me just tell you about my experience just today.

  • I had a woman ask me for my name multiple times. She knew I worked for the clinic because I wear an apron that says “clinic escort” on it. She kept telling me I didn’t “have” to work for an abortion clinic. This is part of a concerted effort on the part of anti-choicers to harass clinic workers into quitting their jobs. It’s actually called "And then there were none" and it’s pretty fucking disgusting.
  • When I walked up to a patient as she was getting out of her car (this is policy, we have to ask if the person has an appointment because the antis try to park on our property all the time), she got really scared at first because she thought I was one of the antis. She told me how relieved she was once she read my apron. This woman had an existing child that she mentioned to me as the antis were screaming over the fence about her “killing her baby”.
  • Another woman told me how she was worried I might be “with them” when I walked up, just because the knowledge of how anti-choicers harass people going into the clinic is so commonplace. She was also relieved to have me there. One of the anti-choicers yelled at her about killing her baby from over the fence. She burst into tears.
  • These people also yell at and harass the men that come into the clinics with either their partners or their family members. One woman kept yelling out to the men coming in to “protect [his] legacy”. 

This was all in one day. One day. I’ve had other experiences on other days when I’ve escorted that are just as bad or worse.

It’s not like these people stand there silently. They are actively yelling at folks and when they can, pursuing them. If an anti-choicer at my place of work can’t get to someone through the part of the fence that overlooks the parking lot, they will push their pamphlets through the parts of the fence that face the doors of the clinic. They are aggressive and totally insensitive to the feelings of any of the patients coming into the clinic.

I haven’t worked at this clinic long, but I have seen the emotional effects that these people have on patients coming into the clinic. So like yeah, in one picture it doesn’t appear that they’re harassing anyone, yelling, or threatening people. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. And either way, who wants people staring at them when they’re going in for a medical procedure? Or when you come out of one, and you’re still so groggy from anesthesia that you need one of the clinic nurses (or even myself or someone else in my kind of position!) to hold you up and put you in the car?

Anyone who thinks the people standing outside of clinics are not doing it with the intent to harass and bully is wrong, and patients deserve to be protected from this kind of bullshit. My clinic has a big fence and the patients that we serve still feel harassed and bullied. I can’t imagine what it must be like for people going into a clinic without that, like what is pictured.

Thank you for the work you do. Clinic escorts are so brave, and so needed.

The clinic escort who took me in for my annual exam looked like a Hell’s Angel and was easily 6’5.

The anti who harassed me looked like Aunt May.

#protectthezone

(via wilwheaton)

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Wed Jan 22

fishingboatproceeds:

tedx:

Does money make you mean? In a talk at TEDxMarin, social psychologist Paul Piff shares his research into how people behave when they feel wealthy. (Hint: badly.)

To learn more, watch the whole talk here»

I have a theory about this, which is completely unsupported by data and might be totally wrong.

I think people like to believe that their choices matter. We don’t like to consider the role that luck and circumstance plays in human life, because it makes us feel powerless and ultimately like maybe we should not even bother to get out of bed in the morning. So we find ways to imagine that we can make our own destinies and that we are in control of our own lives.

To an extent, of course, we are. Our choices do matter. But so do chance and privilege.

But I think most people want a narrative of their lives that is about something other than dumb luck. So if you become powerful or wealthy, you start to think, "This happened because I worked hard," because you did work hard. You think, "This happened because I didn’t give up," because you didn’t give up.

But THEN there is this nagging feeling that haunts you, because you know that other people also work hard and that other people also don’t give up, and that they have not experienced the same success you have.

In short, deep down you know that the game of Monopoly, through chance or through systemic injustice, has been rigged in your favor. And that makes you feel like everything is random and meaningless and you are unworthy of your good fortune, and I think many people respond to that feeling defensively: They want you to know that they made a really amazing decision to buy Park Avenue, a bold and dangerous decision. And yes, they started the game with more money, but lots of people start the game with more money and DON’T make the bold and brilliant decision to buy Park Avenue.

And in the end, this desire to build a narrative of your success that gives you agency within your own life leads to a less compassionate life. It also often I think leads to echo chambers: Because any challenge to your “I earned it” worldview is a direct attack on your feeling that you are in control of your life, you have to surround yourself with people whose own life experiences do not contradict that worldview. This is the only reason I can think of that wealthy people are literally more likely to take candy from children.

The challenge—and this is a challenge for all of us—is to internalize the roles luck and systemic injustice play in our lives while still continuing to try to be good and useful creatures. 

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